A woman is woken by a phone ringing - and I really don't want to say any more about what happens, as it would spoil it! Bedfellows is less than 3 minutes long, but is very, very creepy indeed. It really knows how to make you squirm with tension. This very effective horror short can be seen for free here.  4.5/5

Who knew a one minute long, one-take horror movie could be as frightening (if not more so) as many of the full length, big-budget features out there?

Jason Eisener (Hobo With A Shotgun, V/H/S 2, The ABCs of Death) has come up with a found-footage style, creepy little gem, showing a police diver's "one last dive" at an underwater crime scene in the small hours of the morning. Even during such a short running time, it still manages to build up considerable tension, with a neat twist at the end. And even though some people might guess what's coming, it still had me nearly jumping out of my seat. 

Short and punchy, this has the ability to frighten the wits out of any quick coffee break, and it's available to watch online for free here. 4/5

An evil stepmother calls on the terrifying Suckablood to visit and kill a little girl if she sucks her thumb once more. 

Wonderfully gothic and dark, this six-minute short packs a lot of atmosphere into its small running time. It is beautifully shot and lit, and makes excellent use of audio. It's certainly one to watch with headphones or with the volume up. There's something about it that feels very traditional - a narrator telling a chilling tale with a moral - and the visuals are surprisingly creepy. It even has a macabre twist at the end.

This had my full attention throughout - I simply couldn't take my eyes off the screen! It only takes a few minutes to watch, and it can be seen for free here, so now you have no excuse - go and check it out! 5/5

A horror movie about demons is screening on the television sets in a modern apartment building. Teenager Sally gets the birthday surprise of her life when one of these monsters crosses into the real world, and she becomes a bloodthirsty demon. With the power cut off, the building's high-tech security systems imprison the inhabitants inside the building. And as the possession spreads, the survivors find themselves fighting for their lives.

Rather than a continuation of Demons (1985), Demons 2 is almost a re-telling of the same story but in a different setting. It retains the fast pace of the original, and adds a few new elements (for example, the acidic demon blood burning through the floor/ceiling in an Aliens-type way, as a further source of infection). Like its predecessor it uses a strong soundtrack very well, though it's more pop/new wave than rock/heavy metal this time round - which is perhaps more in keeping with some of the laugh-out-loud 80s fashion and dancing at Sally's birthday party. The gore is less in-your-face than the first film, and although the special effects are far from terrible, they don't seem quite as effective this time round. The squealing 'baby' demon for example is hard to take seriously, as it looks too much like a comedy version of a Gremlin puppet. It's actually more cute than terrifying.

Having said that, the film still manages to include some scares. The film-within-a-film sequences are wonderfully tense and atmospheric, and I found them genuinely frightening. The characters watching it on their televisions certainly seem entranced. And I'm surprised I've not heard a fan conspiracy theory that they could have simply been hypnotised by the movie into committing the acts of violence, rather than there being a genuine demonic infestation. Oh well, just a thought..

The biggest difference between this and the previous film is the cheese factor, which is considerably higher in Demons 2. There is a doggy-demon, a surprisingly clean and nifty child birth, a gym full of people in amusingly inappropriate fitness outfits, and the surprisingly homoerotic inclusion of many bare male torsos throughout - each lovingly smeared with baby oil. And remember - if your beefy gym instructor can't kick down a security door, you could always try chucking flowerpots at it.

There are also some interesting similarities between the two movies. As well as the similar settings (the claustrophobia of being trapped in a building), they both feature the birth of a demon from the body of a human, a blind/blinded character, a handsome hero named George, a German location, and they even share actors (Tony the Pimp reappears as Hank the gym instructor, and Ripper the coke-snorting punk returns as the apartment security guard).

I totally enjoyed Demons 2! It has a combination of gross-out gore, atmospheric horror, and campy, unintentional comedy that really appeals to me. I thought it was a lot of fun, and definitely one to watch with a group of friends.  5/5

In the Berlin metro, a sinister-looking man in a metallic mask hands out free tickets to a unnamed film, and a mixture of people end up at the large and recently re-opened Metropol Theatre. When one character goes to the toilet feeling unwell, events in the cinema start to echo those in the horror movie being shown, as characters are turned into vicious demons and attack the others. With the exits blocked up and the demon possession spreading rapidly, how will the survivors be able to escape and survive?

Demons is a great example of an Italian horror film of the 1980s, with over-dubbed voices, high levels of violence and gore, and striking use of sound and visuals. There is an interesting use of strong primary colour filters in certain scenes, reminiscent of producer Dario Argento's earlier work, like Suspiria (1977) and Inferno (1980). In addition, it has a strong heavy metal/rock soundtrack, which is used to great dramatic effect. Not only the familiar commercial tracks, but also the excellent, pounding title music by Claudio Simonetti. 

This film packs in a large number of creative gore sequences and set pieces, all done using practical effects, which still look surprisingly good for a film of this age. Along with the blood and guts, this includes the iconic and creepy image of the demons walking up the stairs towards the camera, strongly backlit to be almost silhouettes, apart from their glowing eyes. 

The Metropol Theatre itself provides a great atmospheric setting, with a sense of brightly-lit modernism in the foyer, darkness in the auditorium and decay in the hidden rooms, and an oppressive feeling of claustrophobia when the characters realise they are trapped inside. However, the few scenes where the action is taken outside the building (the young punks snorting coke in a car, and the final scenes) felt less effective and less interesting to me.

As with many other Italian horror films of this period, it does have its moments of far-fetched silliness. But if you just go with it, it's great gory fun, lightened up with the occasional moments of cheesiness. The acting performances are acceptable, and there are some likable characters. The pace never lets you feel bored. And whatever you do, don't switch off the film when the closing credits start to roll. There is one final surprise afterwards, which completely flips the tone of the ending.  

Demons is an 80s classic, and one I've loved since I first got hold of a copy on VHS as a teenager.  4.5/5

A group of irritating, loud, gung-ho paintball players are taken to some woods, where a man with thermal imaging goggles sets traps and shoots at them with real ammunition. And he couldn’t start soon enough, as far as I was concerned.

The film has lots of potential. It starts off as creepy, with the players blindfolded and handcuffed in a truck. I liked the sense of claustrophobia created in the woods. But despite all the drama, shooting, shouting and running around, I found myself getting bored during the action scenes. It’s hard to feel anything other than intense annoyance for victims who do little more than yell and shout and squabble all the time. There’s no real character development, no back stories, and nothing memorable about any of them. It’s hard to tell one player from another. For hardcore paintball players, they make themselves ridiculously exposed (by standing on top of car roofs yelling, or running around screaming) then act surprised when they’re shot at. I couldn’t care less about any of the victims, and was even cheering some of the deaths.

It’s all filmed with hand-held shaky camerawork, as if showing the point of view of someone watching them. But then it becomes confusing when the camera starts moving around and in front of characters without any reaction from them. It also becomes wearing very quickly.

The actual killings are shown through the killer’s thermal imaging goggles, reminding me of Predator (1987). This is interesting at first, though it did make me wonder whether it’s also a way of disguising low budget special effects. A few times it works well – for example when a character is in a dark room with a glass floor, and the thermal imaging view reveals a group of people watching from the darkness beneath. But this technique quickly becomes distracting and the lack of red blood becomes disappointing.

The film tries hard to look like torture porn, but with very little gore. It has elements of Hostel (2005), Saw (2004) Hounds of Zardoff (1932), Surviving The Game (1994) and even television’s Big Brother too. But it gets far less emotional reaction from me than any of those (and yes I include Big Brother in that). There are a few tense scenes, and the killings are mostly creative. The head-bashing-with-a-rifle scene is particularly disturbing and effective (despite the black and white thermal imaging) and there’s an original use of landmines and a bulletproof vest.

The film’s quite predictable, and the ‘survivor’ can easily be guessed early on. It has plenty of cliches (why would a woman in peril suddenly take off her protective army gear and start running around in a bra?) And I think I understand what happens in the final scene, but the way it’s filmed makes it very confusing.

Did I think this was a bad film? Yes. But not the ‘fun’ kind of bad film. Me shouting at noisy characters on the screen to shut up, or cheering their death scenes, might say something about my viewing experience. Other times I felt bored or just angry. This is neither a fun b-movie, nor an unintentionally funny bad film. It’s just bad. 1/5

I have a soft spot for trashy 80s slasher movies, and this one has all the key ingredients. The victims are annoying ‘teens’ who want to party. They cause false jump-scares by suddenly grabbing each other. They talk aloud to themselves when they’re alone. They walk backwards without looking where they’re going. Cars don’t start when you need a quick getaway, and women trip over when chased by a killer. And of course there’s an unstoppable psycho there – for no particular reason – who can be in several places at once.

What provides the extra cheesy, crusty topping that makes this more fun than some other low budget slashers, is the unintentionally amusing writing. And Phyllis-from-The-Office’s husband (“Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration”) as a devil-worshipping, serial-killer police officer, who comes out with one-liners, and walks like he’s been on a horse for way too long.

The ‘teens’ are dressed up in 80s garb, driving their flashy open-top car to a holiday house they rented with loads of money from stocks & shares or something like that. Yes, I was already wishing Psycho Cop would hurry up and find them. Especially the annoying girl who was brushing her hair obsessively despite the car roof being open. And brushing her hair by the pool later. And brushing her hair in the house. And – well, all the flipping time. You could play a drinking game for every time she does it, except you might not be conscious by the end of the film.

At the rented house we meet the caretaker/security man/blond surfer dude who lives in a ramshackle caravan in the grounds. He’s quickly disposed of when his axe goes missing (we know it’s missing because there’s a big axe-shaped silhouette conveniently painted on the external caravan wall) and it suddenly reappears in his forehead. He falls down silently. Back at the house pool, Doug suddenly sits up – “I thought I heard someone screaming.” This seems unlikely because of (a) the royalty-free music they’re playing very loudly, and (b) NOBODY SCREAMED.

This ‘screaming’ is referred to again, several times, despite never happening. Yet when other victims really do scream nobody notices. Meanwhile, the killer continues wisecracking, doing his curious uncomfortable-looking walk, and hiding in the shed next to an inflatable zebra.

The stupidity of the victims makes the murders laughable rather than shocking. One victim stands on the spot while the killer hurtles towards her in a car. When she finally turns and runs into the woods, she takes a path wide enough for a vehicle to chase her through the trees and squish her. Surely that would be more difficult than simply running where the gaps are narrower, or tree trunks would get in the way?

Other bizarre scenes involve two of the girls sharing a bubble bath together, for no obvious reason, while the other girl stands by, worrying that someone walked past the window. Presumably someone with incredibly long legs, since they’re on the upper floor.

The cop has the Mark of the Devil (written in biro on the back of his hand), there are some wooden crosses, and a sacrificial cat. But overall the satanism doesn’t have much to do in the plot (except maybe justifying how a psychopath with a false name gets a job in the police force after getting out of prison).

I loved this movie. It’s hard not to shout at it sometimes, when the victims do ridiculous things, or improbable stuff happens. But it’s also hard not to laugh too. This one is a fun night in. 4/5

As a result of a misunderstanding, high school golden boy Nick is attacked by Annie and her gang, and his body dumped in a storm drain. But he is not completely dead. Meanwhile, we see him walking around the school, and nobody is able to see or hear him. Except for Annie - the person who dealt the final blow. She is the only one who can help Nick before his undiscovered body dies completely. But she has some serious issues of her own.

The Invisible is a remake of a Swedish film, which was in turn based on a novel. It's a kind of ghost story, but with less focus on scares, and more on character development and interaction. At the beginning we see a tough, vicious girl; a cold, ultra-organised mother; and a loyal best friend. But as the story unfolds, they start to reveal the hidden sides to their personalities - the "invisible" them - which causes us to question our initial perceptions of them. This could have easily felt forced or unconvincing, but thanks to some intelligent writing and wonderful acting, it works beautifully. I found I cared a lot about the characters, including (and especially) the ones I originally disliked.

The soundtrack is superb, with clever choices of music that really add atmosphere and emotion to the scenes. The cinematography is also well done, with beautiful photography in some scenes. It is not a fast paced film, but I was still totally hooked throughout. Overall, I found it an interesting and very touching experience that I really enjoyed, and would highly recommend. 4/5 

A gang (of 3 men) harass and eventually kill a nerdy student, not realising he’s been keeping a creepy doll, lots of tealight candles, and dabbling in a bit of voodoo. Then one year later a psychopathic clown turns up, complete with an ice-cream van and murderous intentions.

You might think a giggling, supernatural children’s entertainer spouting unfunny one-liners wouldn’t be remotely scary. And you’d be right. He lures people into his ice-cream van, and they suddenly find themselves in an old warehouse room, like a very cheap and disappointing version of Narnia. There’s hardly any blood on show and no real gore, no jump scares and no atmospheric tension. The music used throughout is the kind of background soft pop you’d hear on inexpensive commercials. A few times the camera angles and lighting are interesting (a close up of the nerdy student’s dead face with car headlights behind him; a partially-lit door in a darkened apartment) but they’re few and far between.

The cast is small. Some victims are brought back as half-hearted zombies. There’s one girl whose only role seems to be to soap up her bosoms in a lingering shower scene. And a mysterious homeless man pops up at key points to spell out the story to us.

“Listen! I got a plan. We gotta split up!” someone says, without irony. If you switched TV channels and started watching this part way through, you might mistake it for one of the Scary Movie horror spoofs. That is until Killjoy appears and you realise he’s too intensely irritating to be a comedy character. It’s a bad film, with lots of problems to point out. But you might need to drink an awful lot before you want to laugh more than you want to shout. 0.5/5

Lola: "Will you go to the dance with me?"
Brent: "Sorry Lola, I'm going with Holly."

By politely turning down Lola's request, little does troubled teenager Brent realise he has just angered a vicious psychopath - one who has a vengeful nature and a passion for pink glitter and sugary pop songs. Brent is abducted by Lola's father, and soon finds himself tied to a chair in their house, a part of Lola's special personal prom night. This includes all the trimmings - like balloons and a disco mirror ball - plus a few less conventional elements that use power tools, hammers and hypodermic needles...

Visually the film is actually quite interesting. The photography throughout is beautiful and impressive, and there is much use of kitsch imagery, which contrasts dramatically with the extreme violence taking place. And despite the high level of violence, the director has the skill of making you believe you've seen a far gorier film than you actually have. It also has a strong soundtrack, with effective choices of music/song to enhance particular scenes and events. 

Lola makes for an intriguing villain, and although Xavier Samuel gets the top billing (as Brent), the film really belongs to Robin McLeavy. When her character alternates between childlike 'Princess' (with her glittery scrap books and dolls) to psychopathic torturer, she is equally believable in both roles. 

The film creates tension well, and it's hard not to squirm at some of the scenes. There's a sequence involving someone urinating into a drinking glass which is particularly tense and hard to watch. And there is a revelation about the cellar later in the story which adds a disturbing twist (and possibly a reference to The Evil Dead). 

On the downside, the action is often broken up by scenes of Brent's clumsy friend Jamie who is out on a date with goth chick Mia. This other plotline may be intended to provide some comic relief, but interrupts the flow of the story and I mostly found the scenes distracting and unfunny. The film also seems to try too hard to shock sometimes, and I found the humour a bit forced and annoying on occasion. 

Having said that, The Loved Ones is still a wonderfully disturbing piece of work, with great performances, imaginative horror set pieces, and decent production values. It does have some problems and a few plot holes, but on the whole it's still shocking, thrilling and entertaining. 3.5/5